My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She's the barista slut.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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