There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
