Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
