When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
