I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
