Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
