I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
