yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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