Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
