Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
