Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
