Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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