Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
