i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Just cropdusted the office
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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