The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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