ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize