you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize