Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
