every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
