In the future we'll all be gay
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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