just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
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