Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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