So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
