Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
