**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
vagina is talking i cant
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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