erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
