i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
