Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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