K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
