there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
