Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
