I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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