I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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