I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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