i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
