Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize