so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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