So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
