Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
