Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
