I wannas sexs uuuuu
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
