It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize