he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
