this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
