Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
