I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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