Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
