I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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