The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
