I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
