she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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