Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
