We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
