We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
