guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize