yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
