Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
