that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
