he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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