I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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