That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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