I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
