Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
