i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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