That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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