The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
