she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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