I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
