It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
