Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
