so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
