So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Someone came in the potted fern
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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