I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
