She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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