How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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