Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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