It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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